Here is an excerpt from Mark Goulston's new book,
Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
He really gets the value of true listening:
"As a psychiatrist for 25 years, I have observed that people just weren't listening. I have noticed that people have a deep need to be listened to and cared for, but often don't want to develop the ability to listen and care for others.
I've seen people negotiating more than relating. Relating requires pausing and listening to what someone else is saying without any other agenda other than understanding exactly what they meant to say. The listening you do validates that what they meant to say is worthy of being listened to. Being actually listened to instead of just heard is very healing to the human spirit.
Continuing to listen deeply is the only thing that keeps aloneness and loneliness away. As soon as you stop listening and stop caring, aloneness and loneliness come back, and alienation is right behind it."